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Bacon Buster

A goon named dreadnought on the Something Awful forums submitted a thread called “There Will Be Heart Attacks: the legend of the Bacon Buster” and gave us the best thing since the hot dog roll up.

I decided to attempt this recipe for myself. What type of wondrous food could these ingredients possibly create:

Step 1. Stuff
A hand blender, salt, English mustard, pepper, onion, egg, garlic granules (or clove), parsley and five rashers of bacon.
BaconBurger Mark 1

Step 2. Cutting the bacon
Chop the bacon as small as you can with the knife and further chop in a blender or hand blender. Put aside and wash hands.
BaconBurger Mark 2

Step 3. Cutting onions
Clean chopping board and knife and cut the onions as fine as you can.
As much as it sucks, do it as fast as possible then wash your hands.
BaconBurger Mark 4

Step 4. Throw in the ingredients
No specific measurments, just season to taste. I prefer English mustard because unlike other mustards from around the world - this actually tastes of something.
BaconBurger Mark 5

Step 5. Make into patties
If your patties are a little too wet or soggy, just add some breadcrumbs to help bind it.
BaconBurger Mark 6

Step 6. Cook!
I’d say 3-4 minutes on each side is more than enough on a medium heat.
BaconBurger Mark 7

Step 7. Serve
Throw it on a plate with a bit of leaf and there you have it, a salt filled bacon burger.
BaconBurger Mark 8

If you are truly concerned - this actually tasted good. I can’t fathom how much sodium is in one of these beats, but who cares?

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7 Responses to “Bacon Buster”

  1. on 08 Feb 2008 at 12:12 pm Maldon UNITED KINGDOM Mac OS X Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.11
    Using Mozilla Firefox Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.11 on Mac OS Mac OS X

    You can’t fathom how much sodium is in one of them?

    ..look on the nutritional information of the ingredients, duh…

    [ Quote ]
  2. on 08 Feb 2008 at 1:26 pm Mark UNITED KINGDOM Windows XP Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.11
    Using Mozilla Firefox Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.11 on Windows Windows XP

    Jesus H, I want one.

    [ Quote ]
  3. on 10 Feb 2008 at 12:57 am Iain UNITED KINGDOM Windows XP Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.12
    Using Mozilla Firefox Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.12 on Windows Windows XP

    Maldon on February 8, 2008 at 12:12 pm said:

    You can’t fathom how much sodium is in one of them?

    ..look on the nutritional information of the ingredients, duh…

    … 6mg of shut the hell up

    5g of retardation
    11g of not getting the point

    [ Quote ]
  4. on 10 Feb 2008 at 8:28 am Maldon UNITED KINGDOM Mac OS X Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.11
    Using Mozilla Firefox Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.11 on Mac OS Mac OS X

    Iain on February 10, 2008 at 12:57 am said:

    Maldon on February 8, 2008 at 12:12 pm said:

    You can’t fathom how much sodium is in one of them?

    ..look on the nutritional information of the ingredients, duh…

    … 6mg of shut the hell up

    5g of retardation
    11g of not getting the point

    Those aren’t real amounts, are they :(

    [ Quote ]
  5. on 11 Feb 2008 at 9:40 am Iain UNITED KINGDOM Windows XP Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.12
    Using Mozilla Firefox Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.12 on Windows Windows XP

    Maldon on February 10, 2008 at 8:28 am said:

    Iain on February 10, 2008 at 12:57 am said:

    Maldon on February 8, 2008 at 12:12 pm said:

    You can’t fathom how much sodium is in one of them?

    ..look on the nutritional information of the ingredients, duh…

    … 6mg of shut the hell up

    5g of retardation
    11g of not getting the point

    Those aren’t real amounts, are they :(

    Course not :)

    I’m only kidding ^_^

    [ Quote ]
  6. on 11 Feb 2008 at 8:29 pm Maldon UNITED KINGDOM Mac OS X Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.11
    Using Mozilla Firefox Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.11 on Mac OS Mac OS X

    Iain on February 11, 2008 at 9:40 am said:

    Maldon on February 10, 2008 at 8:28 am said:

    Iain on February 10, 2008 at 12:57 am said:

    Maldon on February 8, 2008 at 12:12 pm said:

    You can’t fathom how much sodium is in one of them?

    ..look on the nutritional information of the ingredients, duh…

    … 6mg of shut the hell up

    5g of retardation
    11g of not getting the point

    Those aren’t real amounts, are they :(

    Course not :)

    I’m only kidding ^_^

    Damn, I’ll never satisfy my stats hunger then.

    [ Quote ]
  7. on 04 Sep 2008 at 4:17 pm SARA without H SPAIN Windows XP Mozilla Firefox 3.0.1
    Using Mozilla Firefox Mozilla Firefox 3.0.1 on Windows Windows XP

    The mustard looks like the poo of a bird but at the end…it looks so HUMMMMMM!!!!! niceeeeee *homer’s face*

    [ Quote ]

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