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That charity match between Manchester United and European XI got me thinking, what if I could create my own team out of any people in the world, whether they’re alive or not. So I tried to compile a team and subs that could play against Manchester United soon and all the proceeds can go to me because charities get too fucking much as it is. Plus I’m greedy and bitter and don’t like giving money away.

Here are my World XI:

…………………………Ian BRADY……..Myra HINDLEY

…………………………….Christopher REEVES

Adolf HITLER………..Bender Bending RODRIGUEZ………..Josef STALIN

Anne FRANK……….Ian HUNTLEY……….Al GORE……….Mohammad ALI

………………………………Peter SUTCLIFFE

Manager: William Shakespeare
Physio: Dr Harold Shipman
Trainer: John McCririck

Dare you challenge your team against mine? reply with your lineup.

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