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Spike Milligan became one of my childhood literature heroes after a primary school teacher named Mr Jonathon Roe read us poems from a book by Spike Milligan. Amazon have “A Children’s Treasury of Milligan: Classic Stories and Poems”, and the book i’ve had for years, “Puffin Book of Funny Verse”.

Here is my favourite Spike Milligan poem:

Silly Old Baboon by Spike Milligan

There was a baboon
Who one afternoon
Said I think I will fly to the sun
So with great palms
strapped to his arms
he started he takeoff run

Mile after mile
He galloped in style
But never once left the ground
You’re going too slow said a passing crow
Try reaching the speed ofsound

SO
he put on a spurt
My God how it hurt
both the soles of his feet caught on fire
As he went through a stream
There were great clouds of steam
Buthe never got any higher

On and on through the night
both his knees caught alight
clouds of smoke billowed out of his rear!!!
Quick to his aid
Were the fire brigade
They chased him for over a year

Many moons passed by
Did Baboon ever fly
Did he ever get to the sun
I’ve just heard today,
he’s well on his way
He’ll be passing through Acton at one.

PS – well, what do you expect from a baboon

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